A Bride's Guide to the Lower East Side
Russ & Daughters, From Lucie, Russian Baths, Economy Candy, Veselka
I saw an ad on the subway for a wedding website platform that had the tagline: “For the days when your answer to every question is “It’s on the wedding website””. I immediately remembered something my brother had said in the run up to his wedding last year. Someone had asked him what type of train ticket they needed to get to the wedding in Poughkeepsie and though he duly answered their question, he added through slightly gritted teeth: “It’s on the wedding website”.
To be fair to wedding couples, they put a lot of effort into wedding websites but what they really need to understand is, nobody looks at the wedding website. I know you think people do, but they really don't. What I personally do with wedding invitations is RSVP immediately, take a photo of the card so I have the details then put it straight in the recycling. Sometimes it enjoys a detour to the fridge, spending a few happy weeks behind a magnet before it makes its way to the bin, but to the bin it is going.
Wedding couples completely lose the run of themselves. We all did it. I lost the run of myself so much that I had a whole webpage of “Things to do in Slane” on our wedding website even though 90% of the guests were from Dublin and returning home to their Dublin beds the same night. It’s just coming back to me that I included things you could see and do in Drogheda. Jesus Christ.
Seeing this ad on the subway, I decided, 6 months after the wedding, that I’d take a look at my brother’s wedding website and I have to say, it was very helpful and informative. As the wedding was taking place in New York and half the guests were traveling from outside of New York, they had a whole section on “NYC Recommendations” with many subsections including one called “The Bride’s Guide to a Great Day in NYC”. (It’s a good title. I should get her to do the headlines for these posts). The itinerary was set exclusively on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, an area she knew well because she went to high school there. I cleared a day and I dove right in.
Russ and Daughters
The morning started with breakfast in Russ & Daughters on East Houston Street, a family run, 100 year old Jewish deli and the first American business to have “& Daughters” in the title. I took a seat at the bar in the cafe, which is decorated in the style of an old chemist. The hosts, who greet you behind a sign that reads ”Be a mensch, please wait to be seated” are wearing white coats. (My understanding of hearing the word “mensch” used regularly is that it is the Irish equivalent of “being sound” or maybe “a legend” - “what a mensch”/“total ledge”). Large and empty medicinal looking glass bottles and dispensers line the shelves, as well as glass jars of pickles and dried fruit. Above the shelves are written the names of Jewish traditional fare in the font of an eye examination chart, words like “KIPPERED SALMON”, “RUGELACH” (a miniature croissant-like pastry) and ”BELLY LOX” (cured salmon). I am familiar with most of these words.
When we first moved into our Jewish neighbourhood two years ago, our 18 month old didn’t have many words but every time we passed Breads bakery she’d point and say perfectly: “rugelach”. One word I wasn’t familiar with was “KAPCHUNKAS” and when I asked a passing waiter what it was, he pointed to kapchunkas in a framed black and white photo hanging on the wall and explained that they are whole fish, hung out to dry, that have since been banned for not being in compliance with food safety regulations.
I had a chocolate egg cream to start which the menu explains contains neither chocolate or cream but is a chocolate milk soda and “an NYC original”. It’s delicious. I followed this with ‘Lower Sunny Side eggs’ - two fried eggs with potato latkes (potato pancakes) and gaspe nova (smoked salmon).
From Lucie
Next up on the Lower East Side itinerary was to take a “schvitz” at the Russian and Turkish baths on East 10th street. No reservations were required but they don’t open until midday, a fact I didn't become aware of until I showed up at ten past 11. Directly across the street however is the most charming cake shop and the perfect spot to kill 50 minutes. From Lucie is one window wide and painted bright yellow in a very grey street. A bright pink café curtain crosses the window. With two simple wrought iron chairs and one patio table outside, it is impossibly cute and I don't know Lucie, but I hope she is the woman at the end of the movie that opens the cafe because she is following her dreams and not the woman at the start of the movie whose bakery full of cute cakes is about to imminently close down.
Russian & Turkish Baths
At midday I moseyed over to the Russian & Turkish Baths. The receptionist told me that the man going in ahead of me was 95 years old and goes twice a week. “Maybe that's the secret”, he said to me.
A sign at reception saying there was a women’s only session was the first amber flag about this place and then the fact that it said in brackets “(Boris shift)” was the second. I ignored the amber flags and went in for my first schvitz.
If the aesthetic of Russ and Daughters was ‘early 20th century pharmacy’, the aesthetic of the baths was ‘subway station’. Not in the sense that they drew on subway stations as inspiration for their décor, moreso that it looked like an actual subway station. And in case you haven't been to a New York subway station, I'll tell you this much: they are not pretty.
There were 10 people present, all men but myself and I started to wonder if maybe I’d intruded on a male-only space. Perhaps I was only meant to come during Boris’s shift. The men were all tall and broad and all of their surface areas were covered with either hair or tattoos, except for the one place you’d like to see hair: their actual heads. The fact that they were walking round wearing aquamarine face masks didn't diminish their masculinity in any way. I looked round, willing a woman to appear, and then I spotted one but my relief was shortlived because she was more hard-as-nails looking than the men. I reassured myself that my sister-in-law had recommended this place but then I remembered that she used to work with a prison charity and I seriously wondered if this was in some way connected.
Suddenly, I noticed rules of the baths posted to a wall. Rules! But also: Rules? The rules said you must be covered, I appreciated that. No phones - fair enough. No public displays of affection - OK…got you. Then it said “No razors” which, as soon as I read it, I immediately pictured the opening scene of a gang crime movie where someone might have their throat slit in a place exactly like this.
A friend of mine once moved to Dublin City centre and though he was reasonably intimidated by the nearest pub to his apartment, he had a thing about having a pint in his local and was determined to go in. I won't name the bar but let's just say it’s named after a famous Irish revolutionary. An Irish revolutionary who loved poetry. OK I dunno why I’m bothering with obvious clues. It was the Padraig Pearse on Pearse Street. The latest review of the Padraig Pearse on Tripadvisor is titled “ABUSIVE THICKSET BARMAN” and contains the line: “I was in the midst of a gre!at conversation with three local housewives when he came out, approached me menacingly and ordered me to shut up - though the ladies interjected saying they wanted my conversation to continue. We had been speculating how many pints you could drink in a tight girdle”. I am not making this up.
My friend is not this man. He said he walked in and everyone’s heads turned; he stuck out like a sore thumb. He sat down and drank his pint, trying to drink it as fast as he could but also trying to not look like he was drinking it as fast as he could. This was now the method with which I was approaching the baths. There were five saunas and my plan was to do each of them at breakneck speed while outwardly appearing calm and chill. Chill chill chill.
The Redwood sauna: The most bearable. It was the coolest, though the thermometer read 181 degrees F.
The Aroma sauna. It smelt like the inside of one of those old-fashioned gold tins that contains the hard, colourful, boiled fruit sweets that are covered in powder.
The Russian sauna. The most popular. There was a barrel in the middle of the room that had smaller plastic buckets in it that looked like they might have once contained animal feed or fertiliser. People occasionally stood up, filled a small bucket and threw it over their head. Was I about to do the ice bucket challenge? Even though I hadn't done it at the height of its popularity? I didn't want to leave without experiencing the whole thing so I stood up, felt the water with my hand (which was of course, freezing) then cheated a bit because I only quarter filled the fertiliser bucket and tipped it over my head.
That’s only three rooms but I can’t remember the rest. Have I blocked it out? Maybe.
Economy Candy & Veselka
Returning to the itinerary, I headed for Economy Candy on Rivington Street, another family owned building, dating not quite as far back as Russ and Daughters but to 1937. It is such a cute old-fashioned sweet shop with a decent stock of British chocolate.
I finished off my Eastern-Europe themed day with pierogies (dumplings) and a cranberry and apple compote drink in Veselka, a Ukrainian restaurant at the corner of 2nd Avenue and 9th Street - the heart of the Ukrainian Village.