Let’s all say one thing we're thankful for

Good morning and Happy Thanksgiving!

This will be my fourth Thanksgiving. It is such a lovely holiday. It’s like Christmas but without the Mass or presents. Only the best bits are left: everyone taking a break at the same time and getting together round a meal.

I visited New York with my parents for a week in 2019, which happened to coincide with Thanksgiving and we were kindly invited by regulars at my brother’s bar to join them at their family celebration. In 2022, we had been living in the States just two months and my brother’s inlaws had us round to their apartment for their traditional Thanksgiving celebration.

Last year, we had kind of established ourselves and no one was taking pity on us with invitations. We had been living in the US a year and hadn’t intended to celebrate Thanksgiving at all. We said we’d go see the parade (as we live right by it) but that we wouldn't cook a turkey dinner. We had no real attachment to the day and anyway, we’d endless Hello Fresh bags to get through and those greens weren’t going to separate from the whites themselves (IYKYK).

The day before though, there was such a buzz in the city. The atmosphere was palpable and I got caught up in it. It felt like Christmas Eve at home, everyone trying to finish up early and get the last few bits and get home. So I rallied and organised a really quick turkey dinner: I ordered a turkey crown on our usual grocery delivery website, which immediately suggested additional products like gravy and sprouts. I bought cranberry sauce, stuffing and pecan pie in Breads bakery when I passed it and we already had spuds in the fridge so voilà, we were ready.

The beauty of it was that there was ZERO stress. No buying new clothes. No getting out to Mass. No impressing anyone. No fuss or stress about presents (Is this really an American holiday? It truly is uncommercial. Well, not truly. I did buy a turkey-themed table cloth, a few turkey decorations and of course, a turkey-themed cookie decorating kit from Trader Joe’s because it’s not really a holiday if you’re not decorating pilgrim-shaped cookies or constructing a dwelling of some description from confectionery).

I read a New York Times article about how to take the stress out of Thanksgiving dinner and it said that if you prepared certain things in advance, and you got help with the dishes, you could do it all in two days. This was the “pared-down” approach to Thanksgiving. Two days. Two days if you don’t count the prep you did before the two days started. They needed to take a lesson from me. You could do it all in an hour if you put your mind to it.

New Years Eve 2015

One New Year’s Eve, I’d say it was 2015, a group of us rented a house in the Irish countryside. This meant that we relocated the staying-inside-and-playing-games-and-watching-movies-while-drinking-and grazing from our family homes to this rented house, with our friends.

One friend, particularly skilled at cooking, offered to cook a dinner for us all New Year’s Eve and there were no objections from anyone. Right as we sat down to eat, someone at the table (I remind you, that everyone in this scene is Irish) said: “Let’s all say one thing we are thankful for this year”. We all groaned. I think they all groaned anyway. Maybe I groaned so loudly that I assumed everyone else had joined in. The person beside me started it off and, mercifully, it went round the table in the other direction. Round it went and everyone offered up something. I was paying close attention, like a kid waiting to be called on to read in class, trying to figure out which line would be theirs. Every type of response had been covered: the serious, the schmalzy, the funny. By the time it got to me (about 14 people deep) everyone had given up on the idea and had started to eat. Hallelujah! Everyone but the person who had suggested the exercise in the first place that is, and she piped up: “I DON’T THINK WE’VE HEARD FROM AISLING YET”. Jesus fucking Christ, would you let it go.

I can't remember what I said but I know I found the whole idea of expressing gratitude out loud unbearably sentimental and American.

I’m sorry but I’m thankful

Earlier this year, I had seen Yvonne Tchrakian, of Pause.Penny, share on Instagram how she and her husband had set aside 5 minutes every day for a month to do a gratitude practice together. I thought it seemed like a really nice, bonding exercise so I bought a His & Hers gratitude box for my husband for Valentine’s day. The boxes came with 28 cards and prompts on topics you might express gratitude around. The first few topics were health, family, friendships. We would each write until the card was filled and then read them aloud to each other. It was actually quite a fun thing to do and SO quick - it hardly took any time at all. It was interesting to hear my husband’s responses and I was surprised every time by how he would have come at the same topic from a different angle of gratitude to mine.

I was genuinely shocked at how this tiny habit had such an effect on me. I began to consciously feel grateful for things, big and small, throughout my day. One day as I walked by myself, I thought: I'm so grateful I live near this park. I’m so grateful Dave took the kids this morning. I’m so grateful I don’t have the buggy and can come a different route without having to only take the paths without steps. I'm so grateful to have time to myself. I’m so grateful the park is in bloom. I’m so grateful the weather is good. I’m so grateful, I’m so grateful, I’m so grateful. I wrote this whole post on how grateful I am and how much contentment appreciating the little things has brought me.

I would express gratitude out loud in front of the kids too, and by example only, they very quickly started adding their own expressions of gratitude.

Me: “I’m so grateful it's a beautiful day!”

Kid: “I’m so grateful we live near a playground!”

What I'm trying to tell you in a round about way is: I’m an insufferable Yank now. I’m sorry, but I'm thankful. Have a nice day and Happy Holidays!